We should be called the Road Head Warriors
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
