me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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