Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
