So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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