Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
