I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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