Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
