hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
