i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
