You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
