I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
