the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
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