I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Ketchup is God's man juice
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I lost the right to judge tonight
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
