fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
