yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
