Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We named our party play list daddy issues
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
