She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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