I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize