Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
