Where did you get a picture of my penis
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
