im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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