u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
