carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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