I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize
