battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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