Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
