You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
