sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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