Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
