fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
