Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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