you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
