i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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