I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
