i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
