when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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