Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
