we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
