i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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