You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I need a beard to bite.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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