she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You have to summon your inner elephant
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
