angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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