Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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