Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
