Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
