So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
