Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
