Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
