shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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