Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
worst night to have a conscience
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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