Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
