all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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