This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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