That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
