So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
