did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
