Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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