i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
