Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
