I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
