honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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