remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
high people should be assigned attendants
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
