So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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