I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
