ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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