why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
