I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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