felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
