Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize